Week 14: The toilet sink and me

I want to laugh when I think about how I look forward to Week 13. The end of trimester 1, restored health and sanity.

But now I'm at Week 14 and life is still a game plan for me. The toilet sink is still my best friend. I'm glad I invest in a wide sink.

Anyway, I've grown so huge that people thought I'm already 6 months pregger when I'm barely in my fourth month! It makes me wonder whether I'm carrying twins.

For the past two weeks, I've managed to gain 2kg! How distressing.

I think I'd better stop whining so much about how much suffering I'm going through. At least it means baby is doing fine in there. Well, I still hope miraculously there are 2 babies in there so at least I can tell people that I'm huge coz of that.

Baby(ies), mommy love you. Please don't take heart on what mommy is writing here. I'm just letting it out of my chest so I don't have to keep all this misery inside. I just want to focus on being thrilled for having you, just like how I felt with your elder sister.

And Daddy is also as thrilled as I am. He has been helping out with the cooking, cleaning, washing and looking after your sister so I could rest. It's not his fault that he couldn't show as much concern towards me as before coz his hands are full with the housework and your sister. So at the moment, we'll look after each other, ok baby(ies)?

Love,
Mommy

Week 12 - Yiye! Baby waved!

We had our scheduled antenatal checkup last Saturday (9 June). This time, hubby joined in as well, so did Khayla.

When the doctor scanned the baby, I was really surprised to see how big it has grown compared to a fortnight ago! Yeay baby!

And the best thing is, the baby has started to move :) it was entertaining to see the baby moving around, and being very active. Last time with Khayla, she wasn't as active as this one.

At one point, baby lifted its hand and we can see the outline of its bone fingers on the monitor! It seemed to be waving at us, the dear one! And Khayla waved back! :) Gosh, now I can't stop writing with exclamation mark, it was such an exciting moment :)

Dr Tan said baby is growing well and healthy although she's a bit concerned with my pale appearance. But I assured her that I'm taking my pills and multivitamin so she didn't ask so much questions.

Our next appointment is next month. And hmm, it might be a bit weird but I sometimes can feel my baby wriggling in my lower tummy, although I'm only 3 months' pregnant.

Can't wait for my pregnancy to be in its fourth month!

Week 11 - A terrible suffering :(

I'm inching slowly out of trimester 1. I'm thankful that my pregnancy is still progressing healthily, but oh my! The suffering I had to go through! To the point that when I was miserably lying down with terrible nausea and headache, I thought that I don't ever want to get pregnant again!

The peak of my suffering is when I had to be hospitalised for 2 days last week due to dehydration and because I couldn't stop vomiting.

Truth is, I wouldn't half mind the vomiting if I could lose weight like Jen did or Kak Za. But that's not happening to me. Although I vomit endlessly, the most weight I lost is - 0. Depressing.

In my condition, the fact that I get to stay in 5-star hospital was irrelevant. Being hooked up to the drip overnight was very uncomfortable. Thank God hubby agreed to take emergency leave to accompany me - after all I reminded him that we are in this together.

The good thing after that the hospital supplied me 2 weeks supply of anti-vomit pills. At least it improved my condition when i need my sanity the most. The catch is, its side effect makes me sleepy.

I'm still looking forward to enter second trimester. Hopefully by week 13 my nausea will vanish into thin air!

Week 9 (most likely!)

A couple of weeks ago, I went to PCMC for my first of the many, many weeks of pre-natal check ups (Insya Allah).

This time around, I'm seeing Dr Tan Ay Eeng, not Dr Seri Suniza anymore coz she's always busy.

Guess what? When she finally scanned me, the pregnancy turned out to be waayyyyy earlier than the earlier clinic estimated. My heart also sank to the bottom of the sea - I was looking forward to leave trimester 1!

So now I'm back to Week 9. The week I suspected that I was pregnant was actually my Week 4. Maybe because I had been pregnant before, so my body is good at recognizing the symptoms earlier this time around.

The scan also showed that it's a viable pregnancy meaning that my lil' one has developed heartbeats. Yeay, lil' one! Good job thriving in there! :)

The couple of weeks I went through was thankfully over. I think this time around I vomit less, but I am more mabuk. It's because I cannot vomit, so my head constantly feels like being underwater. I desperately want to vomit but when I do gag, all that came out is just water and sour-ish taste (yucks!).

Next year I'm going to use protection after I stop breastfeeding.

So looking forward to Week 10.

Week 10?

I don't know why every time I got pregnant I got confused at which week I am now. Three weeks back the doctor who confirmed my pregnancy said I was already 7 weeks but my apps told me I am now only at week 9.

Isn't that puzzling and frustrating at the same time?

Anyway, at this week 9/10, I just want to pass trimester 1 as quickly as possible. I am starting my morning sickness but dear God, please spare me the agony!

What can I say about this week? Headache, nausea, vomit, attempts to vomit but just spit out a lot of saliva, vomit some water, more painful attempts to vomit just to get it over an done with (coz the nausea just won't leave me until I got rid of my stomach content), vomit lunch, vomit breakfast and vomit vomit vomit!

Tired of the word vomit? Want to change it with puke instead?

Bottom line is, it's not a pleasant week, it's those weeks that you just want to put behind and forget about it ever. It's the kind of week where you just go through life half-awake, drowning in your own pain of either vomiting or trying not to, or just trying to focus amidst the throbbing headache.

I just wish it's already week 13. 13 seems like a lovely number now.

I forgot this weird feeling...

... And it's back.

As delightful it is to find that we're expecting, there's also the not-so-joyful moment of getting used to being pregnant again.

Although I'm better off this time (no vomiting as yet and let's pray that there will be none ever this time around!), there are still symptoms that I have to endure.

Since I found out about the pregnancy I had been on standby for the nasty symptoms of terrible headache, gassy tummy, and of course being Mrs Puke and then dying a slow grueling death afterwards.

Week 7 passed by - ok. In fact I was energetic and all worked up that I could even did house cleaning myself including mopping the whole house and doing rounds of laundry, etc.

Week 8. I got tired. Easily. My energy seems to wind down and I had to exert more energy to stay focused. Occasionally I felt nauseous but I convinced that I don't want to start that ugly morning sickness phase this early. If it had to happen, i'd like to have it at the very last week of trimester 1 so I could enjoy the rest of my experience. But still I was discipline enough to keep my appearance well - I started using makeup again prompting so many questions at work.

Week 9. I'm finding it more of a struggle to focus - I forgot that pregnancy also made me feel as I I had my head kept under water and everything is murky, soggy and uncomprehending. Not good for my studying side and even worse for my work.

I am still grateful that other than that I'm still well enough to fetch my daughter and played with her. I don't want her to feel that I'm neglecting her.

Just that I also wish that those pampers and love I received from hubby when I was pregnant with Khayla would not dwindle or lessen this time around.

Like my back and right calf are feeling stiff right now after driving all the way to Bangi, yet I don't get that readily available massage I used to get last time.

Oh well. I'll just settle with not having early morning sickness, that is good enough.

A new bun in the oven?

Today we were blessed with another joy of finding out that we are pregnant - for the second time! Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah for bestowing this gift to us :)

Actually we knew about it since last Tuesday - I had been feeling weird lately. My tummy felt bloated in the way that only pregnancy can make me feel that way. And, I had been burping a lot.

So once again I had this feeling that I might be pregnant though it was not as nagging and intense as the time when I was pregnant with Khayla.

I finally decided to test it on Tuesday night. After the delivery people came to deliver our brand new fridge (yeay!) I went to a pharmacy in Sri Gombak with my little girl to buy pregnancy test kits.

This time I bought 2 kits - just in case the first one produced inconclusive result.

I came home and immediately did the test - this time instead of having to wait for a few moments, the second line appeared almost immediately, albeit faded line.

I couldn't believe my eyes so I went out and showed the result to my sister who also couldn't tell whether the second line was really there.

So I gulped down another mug of water and repeated the test. Again the same thing happened that convinced me slightly that I could be pregnant - again!

When hubby came back from class, I showed him the tests and asked him to buy a more expensive test kit. He did.

The third time I tested, the second line took a while to appear AND it appeared - also a faint line.

The next day I confided in my closest colleague at work about it and she was so overjoyed that she clapped hands! I told her to keep it down and cautioned it might be false alarm as the line appeared faint. She suggested we bought a new test kit (also an expensive kit) during lunch break and re-tested - so I did. I also bought some pre-natal vitamins just in case I am really pregger.

This time it was slightly clearer than my first three attempts.

But after a day of relishing the thought that I might be pregnant - the symptoms lessened and once again I was left wondering whether it was even real - perhaps the pregnancy didn't thrive overnight and I am no longer pregnant?

To confirm it, today we finally went to Klinik Idzham to see a doctor. As usual, I had to pee in a bottle and the nurse did the same test I did at home.

When our turn was called, the doctor (her name is Dr Rubiah, by the way) confirmed the news - yup, we're having another baby! ^_^

Hubby patted my shoulder in delight and congratulated me. We told the news to our unimpressed toddler. All in all, today is a happy day for us :)

By the way, I did not have an ultrasound scan coz the doctor said it's too early to be seen via ultrasound - so she just gauged my pregnancy by asking my first day of last period (23 February).

According to her estimate I am now 7 weeks 2 days pregnant. I forgot to check when my due date will be, but thank God for my iPhone apps, I found out that I may be having another December baby!

It just felt strange to fall pregnant so easily after struggling with sub-infertility for almost 4 years but I'm not complaining :) I feel relieved that I can conceive naturally like other people.

And unlike my first pregnancy, this time I only realized that I am pregnant after almost reaching month 2 - last time I found out earlier coz my boobs ached so much.

Hopefully this pregnancy will be smooth-sailing (no morning sickness please!).

We're looking forward to welcome our second baby into our lives. But we leave it to God. Insya Allah, if it is meant to be, we'll be parents for the second time.