First of all, forgive me for neglecting to write on your development every week as what I had promised myself. Work has been piling up lately and I have been kept busy that by the time I reached home, I was totally wiped out.
This week you turned 10 weeks old in my uterus & next Tuesday, you will be 11 weeks old - you've grown your fingers, all your vital organs and you are rapidly developing the rest of yourself faster than anyone can say 'Boo'. Every day I will give you a pat on my stomach and praise you for your industrious efforts of growing. Yup, judging by the size of my stomach and the rapidly growing pile of pants which I can't fit into anymore, you are definitely hard at work in there.
My dear little fella,
It is now the month of Ramadhan and I usually love fasting month for various reasons. However, this year is a totally different experience for me - after breaking of fast and prayers, I would crumple up on the sofa and
Many people were taken aback when I decided to fast this Ramadhan. They popped questions such as, 'Can you handle it?', 'What time are you planning to break fast?' and 'Don't you pity the baby?' (Tak kesian ke ngan baby you?)
I am appalled that people can think that I can heartlessly starve my growing baby, but honestly, there's nothing wrong with fasting during pregnancy. I diligently wake up an hour before dawn to have a wholesome meal and lots of milk to sustain you throughout the day. I make sure that I don't skip my med. I try to eat a lot more than I feel like I can stomach just to ensure that you are not affected in any way while I perform this ibadah. At night, I drink glasses of water so my body has enough fluid to carry the nutrients to you.
So, back off you non-believers! My baby is doing ok, God's will!
As a result of these efforts, I have to go to toilet every so often that I automatically rise to go to toilet while my eyes are still closed. I also gain weight rapidly which totally had me freaked out (I'm not falling for Abah's excuse for my weight gain is because of a tinier-than-grapefruit you).
My dear little child,
Despite fasting for more than 12 hours for the past 19 days, miraculously I hardly fall sick. You've been such a good baby, rarely tinkering with my hormones that causes me all these pregnancy simptoms. Except for the first week of Ramadhan when I was feeling gas-sy, feverish and a lot of other nasty feelings, the following weeks proved to be the best ever time since I conceived several weeks back. So I'm now a Sleeping Monster (I can sleep non-stop if Abah didn't wake me), but I actually feel GREAT. I stop having bitter taste in my mouth, my appetite is good, I stop feeling nauseated all the time and my body is not crying out in pain & discomfort. Sometimes I wonder whether being pregnant was just a dream.
My dear little child,
Pregnancy has taught me to be grateful for God's every day blessing of health, which I used to take for granted for stupid reasons such as racing the deadline and wanting to be a perfectionist at work that I always sacrifice my sleep & psychological well-being (imagine all those stresses that led to gastric, migraine, etc.). For now, health is as precious as souls, and your health is more precious than my entire life.
I must admit that I feel lucky that I don't suffer from vomitting and throbbing headaches during the first trimester - and my health improves by leaps & bounds these past few weeks. This allows me to concentrate on learning my new job and carrying out my tasks at the office. Alhamdullillah, I can't thank God enough for giving me good health while carrying you.
With fasting, I want to teach you that God will not harm those who obey Him even though on the surface it seems like a perilous journey all the way to heaven. Just like He won't sacrifice Ismail the Prophet A.S., even though He commandeth Prophet Ibrahim A.S. to take his own son's life.
When you are born my dear, remember this lesson and do not find excuses to abandon your duties as a Moslem. Because on you, I put my hope to bring the lights of Islam to this world, to my world and my soul.
Grow well, my baby. Meanwhile, be patient for the next 11 days. I shall reward you with plenty of kek lapis and Grandma's delicious raya dishes when we get through this month together.
Love,
Ummi
