Today, something happened that made me go, 'Wow. For real???'
Over the past three weeks, I had been feeling:
1. I love Coke. I loooooovvvvveeeee Coke. I wanna drink Coke all the time. Coke with ice. Chilled Coke. Coke float. Coke is my new addiction.
2. If someone bugged me about work, I wanna bite their heads off. Ok, maybe that's not so uncommon. I have a high-stress occupation. But, to the point of threatening my SM to resign over something I don't agree? Talk about drama!
3. My boobs ache. They start with this regular, I'm-about-to-start-PMS ache, then the ache starts to exaggerate and becomes full-blown the-cool-air-I-passed-by-nearly-crippled-my-boobs ache.
4. I have been having that feeling of slight abdominal discomfort, like, I'm about to get my period but it never showed up. I got ditched by my own period.
5. Ok. I admit it. The symptoms are fishy enough to make me feel suspicious that these are not just PMS. These.are.nothing.usual.
So today. I think I've had enough of, 'Pregnant? Not pregnant???' thoughts buzzing in my head and my achy boobs are beginning to annoy me when I rolled away from bed this morning that I decided to end the puzzle by buying a pregnancy test.
We were grocery-shopping at Giant, and then I asked for a ten from Suami Terchenta to buy the pregnancy test. I hopped over to Guardian, bought the cheapest stick and then we went back. Once we reached home, after putting away our groceries, I took the test kit and went into the toilet to end the puzzle 'once-and-for-all'. After following the guideline, I dipped the stick in my urine, waited for the stick to absorb the liquid and watched out for the line(s) as it began to appear.
There's no way I'm pregnant,' I thought to myself. It's going to be another negative result. Just you wait and see, Carneyz.
Not more than 20 seconds, slowly another line began to appear. My jaws dropped open, my eyes grew bigger. What the...?
I quickly cleaned up and went out, holding the stick in my hand. Suami Terchenta had that, 'ok, it's another negative i just knew it' expression I knew so well. He opened his mouth and asked, 'So, what is it?'
'Can you just believe this?' I shoved the kit at him. The faint line was still there. He stared at it. Then at me, his face uncomprehending at first. Ok, we both were freaked out. After like, how many? failed pregnancy tests, suddenly this is positive even though we haven't started our treatment yet? How is that possible?
After a while, I told him, 'Ok, we need to do another test to confirm this. This might be a false alarm. Quick, get me a more expensive stick!'
So hubby went out and 20 minutes later, came back with another test kit. I gulped down a glass a water to fill up my bladders again, waited for five minutes and then went in for a second test.
To our amazement, the second one also turned out positive! We hugged, laughed and congratulated each other, 'Good job, dear! You're about to become a parent!'
Afternoon, we went to a clinic to get professional opinion and also to do an ultrasound. The scan showed that our fetus is just 17.7mm and the whole pregnancy is just 5weeks and 2 days old. Since I experienced spotting on Monday (which we figured out why but we didn't tell the doctor, hehehe), the doctor warned us that it might be yet another threatened pregnancy and we should lie low and not get too excited until the pregnancy is past 8 weeks. She advised us to go again for another confirmation check-up in four weeks' time.
So, if God wills it, I might be pregnant and this time, it's a natural pregnancy. That's what we called, 'rezeki yang tidak diduga.'
There is a hikmah when I had chickenpox last month, because it made me lose 5kgs. In turn, I believed it regulated my hormone and I was able to produce and release my egg. It also covered me from the risk of getting chickenpox during pregnancy, especially now chickenpox is rampant.
I thank You God, You have reasons for everything that happened. Alhamdullillah.
At the moment, I'll just keep quiet about this pregnancy, and hope for the best. But, if it did not work out like my first pregnancy, I will keep my trust in God, because everything has a hikmah including miscarriages.