Week 25: May all my love and prayers be heard

Dear baby,

How are you doing in Mommy's tummy? Are you enjoying yourself rolling around and playing the poking games? I hope so. Sometimes I found it funny when your sis and you took turns kicking my tummy. Talk about early sibling rivalry!

Baby,

Today we went for six months' checkup. Mommy is happy that the blood pressure and weight gain are just fine.

But when it was time to do the ultrasound, something happened. After measuring your head circumference (normal), she spotted something that made her pause and pressed the scanner firmer on my lower tummy.

She concentrated so hard on something and only answered me in distracted manner. I thought she had probably seen another baby ('guess what? You're carrying twins!') but no. That wasn't what happened.

After the scan, we sat in front of her and she proceeded to draw a womb. She explained about the womb's structure - the placenta, the membrane and whatnots. Then she said, 'sometimes in between the amniotic sac there's another layer called the amniotic band.'

So I asked how does it affect your development because she looked rather worried just now.

She tried to make it sound light and reassuring, telling me that the one she spotted just now did not seem to affect you. It was after all just a thin membrane which she described 'as thin as a curtain layer' and hardly harmful.

But I was not convinced. I asked what is the worst case scenario? She replied that you could have moved actively and suddenly got tangled in the amniotic band. Then you will have some sort of signs around your limb.

She made it sound as if it was nothing too serious. But after that, I googled about the amniotic band and was so horrified to see pictures of babies' limbs after they got constricted in it - there's a medical term for it called 'ABS'. Some limbs couldn't be saved and had to be amputated because it didn't develop. Some babies ended up with cleft palate. In worst case scenario the band constricted the umbilical cord and cut off all oxygen and blood supply - resulting in fatal case.

Baby,

At this moment I just don't know what to do. I feel helpless especially since Dr Tan said there's nothing that we botch could do about it. Should I go for a detailed scan to confirm that it was indeed amniotic band or whether your hands / feet are safe? What if you already got tangled in it because I always feel that you only stick to one side of my tummy? How do I save you my child??

I just pray that we are in the not serious at all category where the band will just end up disappeared without causing you any harm.

Please, please, please baby... Stay away from the amniotic band and move carefully. I love you so much and don't want you to be hurt in any way.

Please don't make me worry.

Dear Allah,

I pray to You to have mercy on my child and protect her from any harms. But if it is meant to be, give me the courage and ways to cope with it.

Amin.

Love you always no matter what,
Mommy

It's a...

Dear baby,

It's been a while since I last wrote about you. Did I mention how crestfallen I was during the last checkup because I couldn't see your gender? Well, it's not your fault, you were sleeping. Nevertheless I was looking forward to the next checkup which eventually came yesterday.

Yesterday you turned 5 months in my tummy. Hooray for baby! ;) Every day you make your presence felt especially after I had Iftar. You tended to kick and somersault as if you were so delighted that tasty food is passing the umbilical cord. Hehe.

Everybody was so sure that this time around I'm carrying a boy. This pregnancy felt quite different than the first one. Like, how my belly button is sinking in, not poking out. And how I am very concerned with my appearance compared to last time where I didn't give a hoot about makeup or maternity dress. Plus time time my belly is huge for a five month preggie!

But, today. During the scan (you moved this time, albeit not kicking or anything but just stirring inside), Dr Tan was able to have a glimpse of that part. And yeay, Mommy's having another girl! :)

But unlike when I first found out about your sister's gender, the doctor sounded unsure. Last time, the doctor at Samuel Clinic took a look and stated, 'it's a girl' with conviction.

This time, Dr Tan sounded, 'Doesn't look like a boy.' So I took it that you're not a boy.

Boy or girl, we're just happy that you're growing well in there. You measured your age (not big nor small for your age), and active. Daddy was not surprised that you are a girl, because I once told him of a dream I had before I fell pregnant with your sister, of us taking Raya photo - me, Daddy and two little girls whose age are not far apart.

I pray that you will be healthy and safe for the rest of this pregnancy. Happy thriving baby! And I love you as much as I love your sister, Khayla.

Love,
Mommy

Week 16: Boy? Girl?

Last Saturday, we went for my fourth month checkup.

I was looking forward to this checkup. Everyone has been telling me that I am different compared to when I was pregnant with Khayla. I am less cranky (yes, sometimes I do raise my voice in the office, but not all the time now), I fuss about my appearance, and I have a worse morning sickness than last time.

So expectations are running high that I might be carrying a boy this time.

So, after the usual blood pressure test, weighing, peeing and whatnots, I was called into my gynae's room. It was quite early in the morning, so service was quite fast. Dr Tan was also able to spare longer time to discuss about issues and concerns that I raised.

But first, the ultrasound scan.

I hopped onto the examining bed, and stared excitedly at the screen. Dr Tan had the roller on my tummy and we had a glimpse of the baby (wow, double the size compared to last month!). She measured the head circumference and in a pleased voice noted that baby is exactly his/her age - 16weeks.

She then measured the body, and then the femur bone (also appropriate size for a 16-week pregnancy.

Then I asked the million dollar question - 'So doc, is it a boy or a girl?'

She tried to scan at that area but once again, like Khayla did before, baby had his/her legs closed and did not even budge from his/her position!

Baby is also not moving as active as last checkup, which could only mean that he/she is sleeping. Hmm. I should have drunk coffee before I went for the checkup (haha, kidding!).

So, there goes another month guessing the gender.

But I'm glad baby is doing fine and growing healthily in there, Alhamdulillah. Congratulations, baby. Mommy and Daddy love you so much.

Love,
Mommy

Week 14: The toilet sink and me

I want to laugh when I think about how I look forward to Week 13. The end of trimester 1, restored health and sanity.

But now I'm at Week 14 and life is still a game plan for me. The toilet sink is still my best friend. I'm glad I invest in a wide sink.

Anyway, I've grown so huge that people thought I'm already 6 months pregger when I'm barely in my fourth month! It makes me wonder whether I'm carrying twins.

For the past two weeks, I've managed to gain 2kg! How distressing.

I think I'd better stop whining so much about how much suffering I'm going through. At least it means baby is doing fine in there. Well, I still hope miraculously there are 2 babies in there so at least I can tell people that I'm huge coz of that.

Baby(ies), mommy love you. Please don't take heart on what mommy is writing here. I'm just letting it out of my chest so I don't have to keep all this misery inside. I just want to focus on being thrilled for having you, just like how I felt with your elder sister.

And Daddy is also as thrilled as I am. He has been helping out with the cooking, cleaning, washing and looking after your sister so I could rest. It's not his fault that he couldn't show as much concern towards me as before coz his hands are full with the housework and your sister. So at the moment, we'll look after each other, ok baby(ies)?

Love,
Mommy

Week 12 - Yiye! Baby waved!

We had our scheduled antenatal checkup last Saturday (9 June). This time, hubby joined in as well, so did Khayla.

When the doctor scanned the baby, I was really surprised to see how big it has grown compared to a fortnight ago! Yeay baby!

And the best thing is, the baby has started to move :) it was entertaining to see the baby moving around, and being very active. Last time with Khayla, she wasn't as active as this one.

At one point, baby lifted its hand and we can see the outline of its bone fingers on the monitor! It seemed to be waving at us, the dear one! And Khayla waved back! :) Gosh, now I can't stop writing with exclamation mark, it was such an exciting moment :)

Dr Tan said baby is growing well and healthy although she's a bit concerned with my pale appearance. But I assured her that I'm taking my pills and multivitamin so she didn't ask so much questions.

Our next appointment is next month. And hmm, it might be a bit weird but I sometimes can feel my baby wriggling in my lower tummy, although I'm only 3 months' pregnant.

Can't wait for my pregnancy to be in its fourth month!

Week 11 - A terrible suffering :(

I'm inching slowly out of trimester 1. I'm thankful that my pregnancy is still progressing healthily, but oh my! The suffering I had to go through! To the point that when I was miserably lying down with terrible nausea and headache, I thought that I don't ever want to get pregnant again!

The peak of my suffering is when I had to be hospitalised for 2 days last week due to dehydration and because I couldn't stop vomiting.

Truth is, I wouldn't half mind the vomiting if I could lose weight like Jen did or Kak Za. But that's not happening to me. Although I vomit endlessly, the most weight I lost is - 0. Depressing.

In my condition, the fact that I get to stay in 5-star hospital was irrelevant. Being hooked up to the drip overnight was very uncomfortable. Thank God hubby agreed to take emergency leave to accompany me - after all I reminded him that we are in this together.

The good thing after that the hospital supplied me 2 weeks supply of anti-vomit pills. At least it improved my condition when i need my sanity the most. The catch is, its side effect makes me sleepy.

I'm still looking forward to enter second trimester. Hopefully by week 13 my nausea will vanish into thin air!

Week 9 (most likely!)

A couple of weeks ago, I went to PCMC for my first of the many, many weeks of pre-natal check ups (Insya Allah).

This time around, I'm seeing Dr Tan Ay Eeng, not Dr Seri Suniza anymore coz she's always busy.

Guess what? When she finally scanned me, the pregnancy turned out to be waayyyyy earlier than the earlier clinic estimated. My heart also sank to the bottom of the sea - I was looking forward to leave trimester 1!

So now I'm back to Week 9. The week I suspected that I was pregnant was actually my Week 4. Maybe because I had been pregnant before, so my body is good at recognizing the symptoms earlier this time around.

The scan also showed that it's a viable pregnancy meaning that my lil' one has developed heartbeats. Yeay, lil' one! Good job thriving in there! :)

The couple of weeks I went through was thankfully over. I think this time around I vomit less, but I am more mabuk. It's because I cannot vomit, so my head constantly feels like being underwater. I desperately want to vomit but when I do gag, all that came out is just water and sour-ish taste (yucks!).

Next year I'm going to use protection after I stop breastfeeding.

So looking forward to Week 10.