Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Saturday, August 23, 2008

In Which I Saw Your Heartbeats & I Fell In Love...

My dear little child,

Last Wednesday, I went to see the doctor as per scheduled together with Grandma. Before going to hospital, I was really edgy, nervous and scared. I couldn't think straight, I worried too much, I made your Grandma worried by talking about nonsense, and my heart went 'dup-dup-dup' for no reasons.

As usual, the doctor came 1 hour later after I registered myself. Sadly, Abah was not able to join us because he can't afford to take yet another leave. However, I made sure that he regret not doing so afterwards. Muahaha! Naughty mommy.

When finally the doctor came in, we were first to meet her. She immediately asked me to lie on the bed after setting up the equipment to scan and listen to heartbeats. After making myself relaxed, she inserted the thing inside and the first sight I saw was...

... An empty sac. Oh my God! What happened to my baby? Did I lose my baby unknowingly?? I was freaking out!

'Oh... hmm... This is one sac, the smaller sac I believe. Doesn't seem to have anyone in there.' Doc noted. She turned the equipment to look at the other sac. I held my breath, I was sooooo scared.

Then I saw you.
The little bowing you, in that famous fetal position.
Yes, you at 5 @ 6 weeks old. So precious, so tiny. So vulnerable.
AND SO CUTE!

'Ah... Alhamdulillah, this one seems to be growing healthily. Look, can see the baby's head, and the body. Now I show you the heart.' Doc sounded happy. I was already melting at the sight of you, so unbelievable that I can grow another human inside me.

Doc pressed a button, and the heart is highlighted in red. It is beating strongly and rapidly, like all babies' hearts do. Doc turned up the volume and I, for the first time listened to your heartbeats - the heartbeats that I had been waiting for 2 weeks to listen to!

Oh, it was the cutest sound I've ever heard! It was music to my ears and for the hundredth times, I melted again... I was so mushy I wanted to cry because I thought my heart couldn't contain anymore love that I feel towards you. It was so strange to fall in love with someone I don't know (actually, it wasn't that strange because I fell in love with Abah before I even knew him). Well anyway, I got to experience for the second time the moments of falling in love, this time with someone who carries Abah's SIRIM chop gene. Hehe.

My dear little child,

I am not the only one who sense this growing love, but Abah as well. Ever since we learnt of this pregnancy, Abah has gone all out to ensure that my needs are fulfilled, and I am happy. I'm thankful that I have not started morning sickness yet, but occasionally when I did fall sick due to the hormonal changes in my body, Abah is always by my side to care for me and ease my discomfort. In fact, even though Abah has yet to see your heartbeats, he surprised me when he made sounds to imitate your heartbeats, ACCURATELY. Hmm. Ada pengalaman ke bang? That shows how much Abah also loves you.

My dear little child,

Lastly, even though I really hoped that there were two of you, eventually God knows best and I trust Him. There's a reason to everything and we are already so thankful that one of you appears healthy and growing well. At the end of the day, my biggest hope is that you come out healthy, a good child and a good Moslem, and that I will slim down to my weight before I got married to Abah. Hehe.


Love,
Ummi

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