Assalamualaikum my child,
Right now, I am feeling your groove inside. You are stirring, probably getting more out of space than ever now. You move a lot even at this stage, I wonder how you'll be when you are outside my womb. Relieved maybe? Ahh.... so much space to kick out those cute little legs.
You are now considered as full-term baby. That means, whenever you decide to make a debut into this world, the chances that you will survive are quite high. Well done sweetheart! You make it this far, we make it this far baby! I love you so much, knowing that you inherit my strong survival will from the moment you were an embryo :)
But just to update you. After the good news in Week 32 (yeay, everything seems perfect!), things get a little bumpy around Week 34 to Week 36. Firstly, within those three weeks, I've managed to get myself admitted in the hospital twice. The first time is because the doctor is convinced that I have GDM but I did not take her seriously so she took a drastic step i.e. get me admitted so that my blood glucose can be monitored for the whole day.
Then just as I had accepted the fact that I may have GDM, in Week 35 I suddenly had strong contractions and Daddy rushed me to hospital. Turned out I had false labour but had to stay in the hospital again until the contractions subsided.
I'm not really sure why these things happened but I believe it happened for a reason that only God knows. What I do know is, after these little incidents, I started to take better care of my health for your sake. I watch my diet and manage to get my blood glucose level in check. I even lost some weight within these 2 weeks! o_0 Seriously, it never happened before!
My little sayang,
Let's come back to the title of the post - why I said that you will most probably make your appearance on our 6th wedding anniversary. You see, because my doctor thinks I have gestational diabetes, she is not willing to take the risk to allow me to carry you until 40th weeks. In fact, she is suggesting that I should be induced at Week 38 - yup, just a little over 1 week left now!
I am really concerned baby - this is going to be my first time to push a baby through my vajayjay since your elder sister was born through C-section. I visualised that it will be just like in a movie - my water break, I somehow managed to remain calm and practise all those breathing techniques and then you were delivered au naturel - no drugs required. Easy-peasy-breezy.
Then suddenly I am told that I have to be induced - or maybe have another C-sec. Understandably, I freaked out. I asked around and heard different stories from a lot of experienced mothers. Some said that being induced is more painful than having natural contractions. Some said the pain is the same, just quicker. Some said, it's not quick at all because it's forced dilation and can take hours to dilate to 10cm. Whatever it is, being induced does not seem like a favorable way to deliver a baby.
I questioned the doctor's judgment because I have successfully controlled my blood glucose level, you are the right size for your age (i.e. you are not oversized, thank God!), your water is not too much and not too little and the placenta is where it's supposed to be. So why insist that I should be induced rather than wait for the labour to come?
This is where my judgment as a mother is tested. Should I heed the doctor's advice because the risk of you not surviving up to Week 40 is there due to whatever reason (placenta cannot provide nutrition and baby starved in womb and born a stillbirth), or should I heed my reason that things are under controlled and I want a stress-free natural birth? The question that I cannot answer is whether the risk is imminent enough to warrant an induced labour.
I have 2 weeks left to decide.
My precious baby,
I pray that you will be born healthy and alive. I'm convinced that you are doing ok right now but what happens during birth is beyond our control. Allah knows what's best for us and whatever fate He's decided for us, we must accept it. We, baby and Mommy, must put our trust and our lives in His hands and may He guide us to the right path.
Be healthy and enjoy the last weeks of being in my warm and safe womb. I love you so much.